2014年11月28日星期五

Edit to the Poem "When He Was Gone"

5 Poems - Google Doc.

When He Was Gone       
I left the world behind, as your shadow crossed mine
The finger through my hair
locked in a black and white photo.
Once in a million years, a rose bled to death
but the blood no longer boiled under a violent moon
Memory was a bird that flies inside a bird.
She ate up stomach and extracted a broken soul
The sunset was a sinking ship on fire.
  The illusion of sunrise was reflected in the dying flame
Who is crying in the wind to catch the final straw?
Tears drill through the heart of a rock
without cutting any vessel or nerve
When he was gone, memory was just a overdue lie.
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  • What is working well (what requirements of good poetry are here?)
     The poem creates plenty of strong images, like “the finger through my hair,” “a black and white photo,” “a blooding rose,” and so on. The poet is also talented in creating fancy metaphors. For instance, the poet likens memory to "a bird that flies inside a bird;” likens sunset to “a sinking ship on fire;” likens tears to a drill that “drill(s) through the heart of a rock.” Meanwhile, the poet personifies his images. The can bleed; the moon is violent; the rock has heart, vessels and nerves. 
     All of those dying images (the blooding rose, the sunset/the sinking ship on fire, a broken soul, the one who is trying to catch the final straw, the heart broken rock, etc.) make reader rethink the relationship between death and memory. In the end, the poet gives the philosophical answer/conclusion that once die, “memory was just a overdue lie.”
     In a word, the poem is working well on creating strong images and provoking to rethink.

  • What is not working (what requirements of "good poetry" are lacking? or not quite working?)
     The poem is weak on interpretability. For example, the image derives from the lines “I left the world behind, as your shadow crossed mine/The finger through my hair/locked in a black and white photo” is weird and incomprehensible. Maybe there is some grammar errors. What’s more, readers may confuse the relationships among “I” “you” “she” and “he.” “She ate up stomach and extracted a broken soul.” The line also needs a explanation. Who is she? Is she a vampire? Whose soul was extracted? Similarly, some images relate to memory (the black and white photo; the flying birds, etc.); others relate to death (the blooding rose, the sunset/the sinking ship on fire, a broken soul, the one who is trying to catch the final straw, the heart broken rock, etc.), but their connections are vague.

  • What needs to be changed?
 I think the situation lacking relations among images needs to be changed to strengthen its interpretability.

  • Suggestions for how the poet might change.
I suggest to eliminate chaos. It would be helpful to reorganize the lines, or the order of appearance of images. Besides, to clarify the relationship between death and memory by adding a bit of connections among those images. Also, rewrite incomprehensible lines and help readers reduce underlying confusions.

Visual Art Appropriation Assignment 2

The Original Image:
-The sign of Red Cross Society of China (RCSC)

The Icon:
-A Cross (is opposite to a tick)

The Appropriated Image:
In 2011, the Guo Meimei event severely discredited the Red Cross Society of China(RCSC). (Guo Meimei, a young girl, who claimed to hold a senior position at the Red Cross Society of China, posted evidence of lavish living on her blog. ) Though the result shows Guo Meimei has no relation with the RCSC, the public still pay attention to scandals on China’s charity organizations, and some people think those scandals arise from the “philanthropy monopoly.” I switched the Red Cross to a cross, the opposite of tick. The commentary of this change is that RCSC is supposed to benefit the public; however, its monopoly on philanthropy causes its corruption. The appropriated image aims to against philanthropy monopoly of RCSC.

2014年11月23日星期日

Response to "Choice"

Assignment:
Find a poem in English.
Identify the moment of change (is this an emotional change? a new intellectual understanding?)
Then the hard part: how did the poet create this change?
————————————————————————————————————————
"Choice" by Sudeep Sen: The Poetry Foundation
For the poem “Choice,” the last line, “choosing is a choice unavailable to me” is the moment of change. It brings a new intellectual understanding. The title of the poem is “Choice.” Audience are reading the poem with speculating on what choice of the poet’s mouth refers to. In the first stanza, Sen points out some things that beyond her choosing, like her grandmother’s cancer, her uncle’s mysterious disappearance, old friend’s estrangement, and the abortion of her children. Readers may think Sen tries to express her helpless about controlling things, or averting bitter experience. It is, but it is not just that. In the second stanza, Sen compares herself to a buddha who is using his fake smile to hide pain and painlessness. Sen says, “some things I once believed in/ are beyond my choosing.” She once believed in she has nirvana but now she realizes it is “someone else’s.” Because she has no choice to choose. “Choosing is a choice unavailable to me.” Therefore, we do not know the “choice” refers to “choosing” until the last line. It is a moment of intellectual change on understanding.

Response to “The Moment of Change” in Poems

The moment of change is common in poems. The moment hides the deep meaning of a poem. It makes the poem not superficial. Only understanding the moment of change in the poem, can readers find its deep meaning. As a poetry beginner, I have also been especially keen to create a moment of change in my poems. For example, in my poem “White Paper,” the moment of change occurs at “he tears off the piece of paper.” The moment suggests his families are died in the bombing. And in my poem “The Beggar,” the moment of change occurs at the stray puppy settles down on the man’s leg and the coming of two pence. It suggests the man is a homeless beggar just like the stray puppy. Both of them are a use of intellectual change on understanding. However, it is only low-level. I’d like to learn more and make progress on that. 

2014年11月16日星期日

Response to Appropriation of Visual Art

Altered images through Photoshop technique are everywhere today. There are a group of people who are interested in Photoshop and create various new images to please the public audience (mostly Web-audience). In this class, it’s good to know the academic term “Appropriation.” It’s a magical art to appropriate the original image and combine with an icon or icons. Sometimes the iconic elements totally subvert the meaning of the original image, which is just for fun. You could also say it is a magic of icon. What’s more, the process of appropriating an image is also interesting. It even provides you with a sense of accomplishment, because you know you are creating something. 

2014年11月14日星期五

Visual Art Appropriation Assignment

Original Image: 
 Portrait of an Old Beggar

This is a portrait of an old beggar.

The painting is a reflection and presentation of an old beggar’s real life. He is ragged, weary, and swarthy. He has to beg for money (mostly coins) because he is poorly off. 

Icon: 

This is a comic portrait of Ma Yun, or Jack Ma.
Ma Yun is the founder and Executive Chairman of Alibaba Group, a family of highly successful Internet-based businesses. He was just reported as the richest man in China and 18th richest man in the world the other day (November 2014, by Bloomberg Billionaires Index). Therefore, the headshot of Ma Yun is a well-known symbol of success and wealth.

Appropriated Image:
After switching the faces of the beggar and Ma Yun, the new image combines the both symbols of poor and rich. It’s kind of funny. It seems that the man is ragged but has an air of dignity and extraordinariness around him.


2014年11月8日星期六

Edit to Billy's Story from "Seven Psychopaths"

Seven Psychopaths - Graveyard Scene - Youtube
Seven Psychopaths - Transcript (en)
Assignment:
Perform the role of Hans and edit a story to improve it.
Watch Billy's Story (of how this film should end)
(Billy includes other characters from the film here. It is not necessary to know who these characters are for you to understand the clip. Though I highly recommend watching this film.)
1. List the problems with this story.
1)Billy sets the Jack O’ Diamonds appearing with Bonny, a puppy, but he does not give the puppy a outcome.
2)Some characters’ appearing is funny and ridiculous, like Marty’s, Zachariah’s, the rabbit's and so on. (It’s funny that Marty just stay to observe and take notes; Zachariah carries a rabbit as well. )
3)Almost all dead die rapidly even meaninglessly for the theme of—peace, like the Vietcong guy, Kaya, “the black chick,” Zachariah, and Jack.
4)The whole scene is full of gunfire and confusion. Billy tries resorting to violence to gain peace, which is disapproved of the audience. 

2. Explain how you would fix these problems.
1)Make the puppy is a key role to twist the plot in the end. 
2)Make every character’s appearing reasonable but keep some elements like rabbit and graves.
3)No one will die but some wounded. It will be a real peace.
4)Add some strategy and tactics in scene. Delete most gunplay actions. The ending will be “peace for peace."

3. Fix the problems (you can do this in any form you like: a script, a story, a poem, a video that you show the class.) 
Exterior.
Cemetery. Night.

Jack O’ Diamonds sets everything. He arranges his friends, the seven psychopaths (including "the black chick", Zachariah, hans, Marty, Vietcong guy and some others unknown.) hiding in graves. But he carries his lovely puppy, Bonny, hiding behind a headstone (He says he cannot bear to cage Bonny in a grave. He thinks it is more reassuring to keep Bonny with him.) waiting for the Mafia boss. Once the boss shows up, he will whistle to call his friends out. 

After a while, the Mafia boss is coming. To his surprise, the boss shows up alone and unarmed. So he changes his mind and does not whistle. He set his back against the headstone, and asks the boss behind him, 
“Why are you alone?” 
“Can not it?” 
“Well, let’s go one on one. No arms. Have guts?”
“That’s what I am looking!”
Then, Jack sets Bonny stay behind the headstone. And he stands up, walks towards the boss, and disarms in front to the boss. After staring at each other for a while, they begin to fight with bare hands. Seven psychopaths are watching the one-on-one fight through grave’s crevices invariably. The boss is agile. He knows martial arts. However, Jack is suck in Kungfu. There are great disparity between them.

Seven psychopaths get a bit of anxiety. Marty believes Jack will lose, even die under the Mafia boss’ hand. So, he gets out of the grave silently and calls everybody out. He asks “the black chick" and Hans staying, and requests Zachariah and the Vietcong guy to go with him to break into the Mafia den, somewhere in the forests. Zachariah is not willing to go because he wants to be with “the black chick.” So he asks Marty, 
“Why me?”
Marty answers, “I know you have a rabbit. “
“So what?”
“So you are good at hooking up with rabbits, right?” Marty keeps saying, “The Mafia boss has also a rabbit, too. We need to abduct it.”
“What?” Zachariah is surprised.
“Come on. Just go!”
The three friends arrive at the Mafia den. Zachariah hooks up the rabbit successfully. However, they are discovered as they are leaving. Fortunately, the Vietcong guy beats back the attack of the Mafia gangsters. 

They carry the “hostage” back to cemetery but to see Jack twisting on the ground, bleeding all over the face. Jack still does not whistle. These friends cannot stand anymore. Marty shouts at the boss, 
“Hey, you, look over here!”
The Mafia boss is shocked when he sees his sweetie rabbit bound. He scolds, “What the fuck you doing? Do not hurt my Penny!”
“It depends on you. If you let him (Jack) go, I’ll let your little Penny go.”
“You are double-hcanted. You said one-on-one, and you cheated on me.” The boss sputters, looking at the lying Jack.
Marty irritates the boss further, “Um, I take it that you don’t agree.” Marty targets the gun on the rabbit. 
The boss grits his teeth, “You’ve forced my hand.” Then he snaps his fingers. 
Suddenly, a plenty of Mafia gangsters show up from the forest.
“Now, can you let Penny go? Or you guys no one will leave alive,” the boss laughs badly to them.
On seeing this, Jack O’ Diamonds says with pointing at those gangsters, “Thus, I’m afraid that even if we release your Penny, they won’t gone.” With that he whistles.

A tough fight is launched. 
The shoot-out.

In the tangled warfare, the rabbit Penny gets injured. It falls unconscious on the floor beside the headstone which right the one that the puppy Bonny hides behind. 
Bonny discovers Penny. 
Bonny comes to Penny. 
And Bonny licks Penny’s wounds, over and over again.
The Mafia inadvertently sees the friendly and peaceful scene. He goes numb, stands there, stares at the two lovely friends. Then everyone stops and turns to look. They all cannot help being moved.
Unknowingly, they all lay down the arms.

Response to Marty's & Hans' Story

Hans edits Marty’s story dramatically. We compared both stories on class, and discussed their similarities and improvements. Apart from what we have already discovered, there may be an important point missed. I think the most significant change in Hans’ version is the positive ending, and the previous one is quite negative. We have came up with that the Marty’s and Hans’ ending are destruction, but the difference is that Hans’ is self-destruction rather than Marty’s destructing enemies. The former just releases rage without considering any effects which would grows more and more hatred. This is why I called it a extremely negative ending. The later conforms to Buddhism and Confucianism, which suffuse Vietnamese life, to render good for evil. The Vietnamese gives up to revenge. The life biggest moral excellence is the mercy, and the biggest courage is admits mistakes. I think the Vietnamese’s self-immolating will awake the American society to admit mistakes. There is no doubt that it is a thought-provoking positive ending. And this is the essential change, in my view.

2014年11月4日星期二

Response to “The Beggar”

There is no doubt that the beggar is a marginalized group. I uses the metaphor of the stray puppy to explain the beggar’s experience of the society and relationship with the world. The beggar are homeless people in some extent. It is similar to stray dogs. They both are dirty and on one to depend on. So, I put them together at the end of the poem. And there is another reason, I leave a suspense in the poem about who the “He” is, and the answer is showed until the last line—that stray puppy lies beside the “he.” Thus, I put them together to unravel the suspense. 
     Besides, although beggars and stray dogs have similar experiences with the world, people may sympathize with stray dogs but do not feel sorry for some beggars. Stray dogs look for foods by themselves, but some beggars do not even though they are “able-bodied people.” They just ask for money without doing anything. I think the beggar is different from a busker. So, I tried to do not sympathize and romanticize them, and just describe their experiences. 

2014年11月2日星期日

Writing Assignment 3_The Beggar

Assignment:
Write your own poem about a marginalizaed person.
Kooser uses the metaphor of the circus wagon to explain the blind woman's experience of/relationship with the world. Create your own simile/metaphor for your subject's experience with the world 
             The way they approach the world         
The way the world responds to them
Avoid feeling sorry for them or romanticizing them.
The Beggar

He saw a stray puppy sniffed commuters
on crowded sidewalks 
and rummaged through trash.

The first instinct
people gave way to stay off it, 
or looked straight forward 
passing it with quick steps
pretending not to see.

After a while,
the puppy came to him, 
rub itself on his leg
and settled down for a nap near him. 

He touched its head as usual….
"Cling-clang,”
there comes two pence.